Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive used to maintain power and control over a partner.
Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation.
It’s nothing new for women to stick to partners who beat them black and blue on a daily basis.
People who have never been abused often wonder why some girls would not just leave an abusive relationship.
Our culture seems to encourage men beating women. Our culture sends a powerful message that women are supposed to be submissive to the men, no matter what. Most women cannot abandon their abusive husbands because of what society will say. In some cases, they end up meeting untimely death from such abuse.
There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships.
1. Inferiority Complex: Some women do not know their worth. They are often insulted and and put down by their partners and before long, they start to believe they are worthless and begin to believe the abuse is their fault.
2. Money: Most girls remain with guys who beat them because of the money involved. Perhaps it’s the man’s income that allows for a certain lifestyle so the lady might not want to leave, knowing she can’t afford such luxuries on her own.
3. Good Sex: Despite all the battering they get from their partners, some women will stay put because they feel they can’t get good sex from any other person.
4. Too much to lose: Some are forced to stay in abusive relationships because a lot of things are already invested in the relationship like marriage, children, property and others. Some women feel their children are going to suffer if they walk out of the relationship, especially if the man is the sole provider.
5. Fear: Some men threaten the women to hunt them down if the leave and so they rather stay stuck. It the woman has been threatened, she may not feel safe leaving.
6. Embarrassment: Most people remain in abusive relationships because they can’t face the insults and castigation from their friends and family. They are even embarrassed to let people know what they are going through in their relationship.
7. Believe that abuse is normal: Some people grew up in environments where abuse was common and so to them abuse is a normal thing. They might not know it is actually unhealthy and not normal for your partner to beat you.
8. Love: A woman might not want to quit her relationship with an abusive partner because she is so in love with him and can’t afford to live without him. She’d rather die in the relationship than walk out with her life intact. They keep deceiving themselves that he will change someday. Being in love can make abusive behavior seem reasonable.
9. Love of Abuse: Some women just love being abused. They love the idea of their partner beating them which gives them false hope that he loves them. Some women feel their partners beat them out of the love they have for them. Some just enjoy other people inflicting pain on them.
10. Cultural/Religious Reasons: A woman’s culture or religion may influence her to remain in an abusive relationship rather than end for fear of bringing shame to her family. For example, some religion condemns divorce so it would be difficult for a woman practicing such a religion to leave her husband no matter what he does to her.
As much as you want to reason with someone who is being abused, they will either try to justify their reasons for staying or remain in complete denial even though they are aware it is wrong. The decision to say no to abuse is on them and until they decide to walk away, all you can do is show concern rather than judge them. It may not be as easy it looks to walk away.
